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How to deal with family members by marriage poses significant challenges to wealthy families by David Werdiger

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Carrot, Stick, or …? Q. My child is not perform

Carrot, Stick, or …?

Q. My child is not performing in their role in the family business / will use their inheritance to support a cause I despise / wants to take over / doesn't want to take over / doesn't want to do what I want. What can I do to bring them into line?

A. Since time immemorial, parents have been trying to get their children to do what they want, or follow in their footsteps. Which specific method to use is often a function of the age of a child. When they are young, we can tell them what to do and they might listen. But as they move into their teens, this becomes more difficult. Indeed, during a rebellious period (which some children never outgrow), they are inclined to do the opposite of what parents want.

The 'stick' works, but only for a very limited time. Using the stick (e.g. threatening to cut them out of an inheritance or other coercive tactics) on an adult is fraught with danger. While it may achieve the desired short-term result, the collateral relationship damage may be permanent. On the other hand, the 'carrot' can be akin to bribery, and also can send the wrong message to children about what is important.

It's worth looking outside the box at interest-based negotiation, and even acknowledging that your children are adults who may not make the same life choices as you! These may not result in getting the children to do what you want, but may well result in a healthy and positive family relationship.

Consider This: (for parents) How has the way you try to get children to do what you want changed as they have grown up? (for children) how does the way your parents seek to get you to do their wishes make you feel?

Actionable Generational Wealth Succession
For more in-depth, thought-provoking discussion points and further commentary on family and business conflict resolution, access my Familosophy newsletter archives by signing into our newsletter https://DavidWerdiger.com. We will send you the archive links from there.

#familyoffice #wealthmanagement #conflictresolution #strategicmanagement �#nextgensuccession #intergenerationalwealth #governance #leadershipdevelopment�#entrepreneurship

Transition Ready In the early days of my billing

Transition Ready

In the early days of my billing business, a prospective customer asked me: "what if I was hit by a bus?" This highlighted to me the dependence of the business on me, and I set about making the business "sale-ready". That didn't mean that I planned to sell it, rather that if I ever wanted to, I could, because the business would be worth as much without me as with me. That is my definition of a true asset.

People have been talking about "the great wealth transition" for a long time, and for various reasons, these transitions are taking longer than expected. But not matter when the transition will actually happen, it is in the interests of a family to become "transition ready". That means (a) the incumbent generation have clarity about what life looks like for them if and when they choose to retire, (b) the rising generation are ready, willing and able to step into positions of control within the family enterprise, and (c) the operating and non-operating assets of the family are well-governed and managed, and therefore the family has optionality regarding their future disposition.

Being "transition ready" is a lot more than having a will and an estate plan with a lawyer. It needs communication across the family, and shared vision for the future. Thinking and talking about our mortality and plans for the future can be very confronting. Not talking about it leads to fragile family systems that can easily fall into conflict.

Consider This: How "transition-ready" is your family? How might you measure that readiness for yourself, your children, and your assets?

Actionable Generational Wealth Succession
For more in-depth, thought-provoking discussion points and further commentary on family and business conflict resolution, access my Familosophy newsletter archives by signing into our newsletter https://DavidWerdiger.com. We will send you the archive links from there.

#familyoffice #wealthmanagement #conflictresolution #strategicmanagement �#nextgensuccession #intergenerationalwealth #governance #leadershipdevelopment�#entrepreneurship

To Keep a Conversation From Becoming a Conflict, U

To Keep a Conversation From Becoming a Conflict, Understand and Interrupt the Pattern of Escalation

There's only one thing you need to do to defuse a conflict. Listening isn't it.

We must be able to extend a hand across the aisle and talk to one another about any subject in any setting. That isn't always easy. But when you are equipped with effective communication tools and understand how to resolve conflicts, it becomes a lot easier to shift your mindset, respond relationally, and get the conversation back on track when it goes off the rails.

Full Article: https://www.inc.com/debra-roberts/to-keep-a-conversation-from-becoming-a-conflict-understand-interrupt-pattern-of-escalation.html

Actionable Generational Wealth Succession
For more in-depth, thought-provoking discussion points and further commentary on family and business conflict resolution, access my Familosophy newsletter archives by signing into our newsletter https://DavidWerdiger.com. We will send you the archive links from there.

#familyoffice #wealthmanagement #conflictresolution #strategicmanagement �#nextgensuccession #intergenerationalwealth #governance #leadershipdevelopment�#entrepreneurship

Wealth & Happiness Q: If the world's two richest

Wealth & Happiness

Q: If the world's two richest men cannot keep their wives happy, what hope do we have?

A: No, that's not a real question - it's a meme that circulated following the news of the divorce of Bill & Melinda Gates.

Many people with wealth realise that money can't make a wife (or anyone) happy, but that doesn't stop them trying.
In business, sometimes we decide to "throwing money at a problem". That means directing significant resources (financial and otherwise) towards solving the problem.

In families, throwing money at a problem is taken more literally - directing liquidity to placate unhappy family members. The assumption is that it will "smooth things over", but because it uses money as a proxy for the underlying problem, it doesn't address the underlying problem.

The best this response can hope to achieve is to kick the problem down the road, i.e. defer dealing with it or pretend it doesn't exist. However, consider that (a) the problem is not solved, and (b) in the meantime, the underlying family issues can continue to fester and can actually become worse.

Consider This: Have you "thrown money" at a difficult family situation? Why? What did you expect to happen as a result? What actually happened?

Actionable Generational Wealth Succession
For more in-depth, thought-provoking discussion points and further commentary on family and business conflict resolution, access my Familosophy newsletter archives by signing into our newsletter https://DavidWerdiger.com. We will send you the archive links from there.

#familyoffice #wealthmanagement #conflictresolution #strategicmanagement �#nextgensuccession #intergenerationalwealth #governance #leadershipdevelopment�#entrepreneurship

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