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Dyslexic Palestinians Stake Claim on Al-Aska

By Middle EastOctober, 2015December 12th, 20232 min read

A new, radical, Palestinian group has made territorial demands on the US State of Alaska. The group, the Association of Dyslexic Palestinians (known as PDA), has delivered their claim to the US State Department in a chilling video. Their leader, known as Ahmad Hussein Shiekh, denied that Al-Aska was ever sacred to the Jews in any way, that it is a product of American colonialism, and claimed that it was the location where the Prophet established hundreds of mosques two thousand years before he was actually born.

“The Prophet travelled all around Al-Aska in a previous incarnation and built mosques in every town he visited”, he said. “He waited months for it to get dark, and then months again for it to become light, and when it never became warm, he became depressed and died, and was reborn as Mohammed in Mecca”. This was verified by a new manuscript only just uncovered which details Mohammed’s previous life. Brandishing a huge sword, Ahmad Hussein Shiekh threatened a wave of knife attacks against the state’s treasured moose population if the US did not cede sovereignty of Al-Aska to them.

Sarah Palin, former Alaska governor and vice-presidential candidate, was stunned at the claim. “I don’t understand why they would want to come to our beautiful state. There aren’t any Jews here to get rid of!” A spokesman for the Obama administration was typically even-handed. “We understand there are merits to the Palestinian claim on Al-Aska, and we have sent John Kerry to initiate peace talks based on a principle of land swaps. Given Al-Aska is not connected to the other states, we assess the security risk as very low”.

Middle East political analyst Daniel Mandel said the idea was worth considering. “If the British could consider Uganda as a possible Jewish state, then why not add Alaska to the existing Palestinian states of Jordan and Gaza?”

This article is satirical

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