Another week; another celebrity family member revealing the “truth” behind the public façade. Are the Beckhams any different?
Let’s break this down.
One of the prices of fame is that your life is open to the media and the public.
For families, it’s important to consider “primary fame” and “secondary fame”.
If you are famous, what are the limits of public interest?
Is it just what you are famous for (public role, influence, sports or entertainment talent, being famous)? Does it extend to your relationships (who have “secondary fame”)?
Your partner and your children may not have signed up for this, but media may consider them ‘fair game’.
How you consider their interests and protect them is a challenge.
If that wasn’t hard enough, now think about family fame: the Kardashians, the Beckhams, the Windsors, the Obamas.
David (sport) and Victoria (entertainment) Beckham each had primary fame before they connected. This extended to them as a couple, and as a family once they had children.
A bit like the Three Circle Model of family business, they live in the intersection of family and the ‘business’ of fame.
What are the implications for family relationships?
In wealthy families, money is a proxy and an amplifier.
Why do the hard work of debating relationship issues when you can use higher stakes like money to play out revenge and rivalry scripts?
If the family is also famous, the modern proxy and amplifier is … social media.
Don’t like the family public narrative that your parents are presenting? There are millions of sympathetic people only as far as your phone. Because the algorithm rewards conflict and strife, its amplifying power is so much greater.
How the Beckhams differ from historical famous families is their online lives.
Brooklyn’s choice to jump immediately to Instagram rather than have it out privately is a generational shift.
‘Always online’ families can end up performing their roles rather than living them.
It’s common for family members to take the easiest path in managing emotions about their family.
What is the hard path?
- Raising children from a young age on what it means to be part of the family
- Giving them a voice and affirming their agency
- Helping them make active choices about how they manage their own brand and fame, relative to that of the family
- Establishing a ‘safe space’ of family meetings where everyone can say what needs to be said and deal with issues privately.
According to family systems theory, actions of one family member cause reactions from others. The efforts of parents like the Beckhams to ‘manage’ the family image can spur an assertion of independence on the part of their children.
Every family needs a time and place where the algorithm cannot intrude.
Where they can just be … a family.
Conversation Starters:
How do you manage your family’s ‘brand’?
Who is at the table to discuss that?
What rules does your family have about online presence?
Further Reading:
The Generation Gap in American Politics
The challenge when you become rich: Stay ‘normal’
New Study Exposes Ultra-High-Net-Worth Families’ Vulnerabilities
Expert warns of ‘Succession syndrome’ among the wealthy
What is succession planning? How to pass on wealth, control and knowledge to the next generation
Four Steps For Family Offices To Start Managing Risks
