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satire Archives - David Werdiger

Dyslexic Palestinians Stake Claim on Al-Aska

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A new, radical, Palestinian group has made territorial demands on the US State of Alaska. The group, the Association of Dyslexic Palestinians (known as PDA), has delivered their claim to the US State Department in a chilling video. Their leader, known as Ahmad Hussein Shiekh, denied that Al-Aska was ever sacred to the Jews in any way, that it is a product of American colonialism, and claimed that it was the location where the Prophet established hundreds of mosques two thousand…

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Jimmy Carter opts for Encephalectomy

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In a remarkable press conference, former US president Jimmy Carter announced a radical course of treatment for his cancer-riddled body. Doctors found a small tumor on his liver and diagnosed melanoma, which was later found to have spread to four spots on his brain. On hearing the news, Carter consulted with experts from the Carter Centre for Peace, the Carter Centre for Human Rights, and the newly established Carter Centre for Fixing All World Problems….

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Hird’s lawyers going on “well-earned” family holiday

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James Hird’s senior legal advisors – lawyer Steven Amendola and barrister Peter Hanks QC – today announced they would be taking extended leave from legal practice to enjoy a family holiday. “Through this whole legal battle, and with all the work we’ve been doing, Peter and I and our families have become very close”, said Amendola. They have hired the 54m luxury yacht Maridome equipped with ten crew including a Michelin star chef and will…

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Patriots had cheerleader push-up bras overinflated

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The NFL has found that 11 of the New England Patriots’ 12 cheerleaders had their push-up bras inflated significantly above the NFL’s requirements, league sources involved and familiar with the investigation of Sunday’s AFC Championship Game told ESPN. The investigation found the bras were inflated to a DD cup, well above the standard C or D cup required by NFL regulations during the Pats’ 45-7 victory over the Indianapolis Colts, according to sources. “We are…

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Shabbat Project 2014

By | Articles, Times of Israel | No Comments

David Werdiger is a committee member of the Melbourne Shabbat Project, and wrote several articles about it. Firstly, about the perception of Shabbat as being about all the things not to do, and how the observances are necessary to create the space to appreciate what Shabbat achieves [Times of Israel]. Secondly, four lessons learned from the experience [Times of Israel]. And finally, a satirical look at the Shabbat Project [David Werdiger’s Blog].

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#breakingItTogether (satire)

By | Personal Blog | One Comment

After the failure of the global Shabbat Project to usher in the Messiah, organizers have had an urgent rethink of their strategy, and released their startling new initiative. Tradition tells us that if all Jews keep just one Shabbat, then the Messiah would come. This was in fact the secret agenda of the Shabbat Project organizers, even though they are not affiliated with Chabad. South African Chief Rabbi Warren Goldstein admitted in a candid interview…

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Case Study: Oligarch Enterprises

By | Personal Blog | One Comment

This is written in the style of a Harvard case study. It is an allegory; imagine a real company in this situation and facing similar challenges. The questions at the end are a guide to what the issues are and the process to deal with them. Suggested answers are most welcome. “They did what?!” exclaimed William, Chairman of Oligarch Enterprises, at one of the regular informal gatherings of the “mini-board”. The recovery of the supermarket division was progressing…

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News about the community: a user’s guide

By | Personal Blog | 2 Comments

A couple of articles were published recently (in The Age and the Herald Sun) about the latest very public scandal associated with the Yeshivah Centre. Below is a guide to the interpretation of often-used phrases in these and similar articles: Phrase Interpretation/Comment one of Melbourne’s most prestigious schools a private school that has been accused of something bad questioned the way […] had handled complaints compiled a list of things previously published and stated publicly about the…

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Celebrating International ‘Work a Bit Harder’ Week

By | Personal Blog | 2 Comments

As the third international ‘Work a Bit Harder’ week draws to a conclusion, celebrations are being marked all over the world as this tribute to the work ethic continues to gain momentum and popularity. In Bangladesh, children at the Dhaka-based factory of a popular active-wear manufacturer dedicated an extra shift without pay to their employers, and in India all cricket fixtures were put on hold so workers could spend an extra two hours working without…

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